This diagram shows the states that we go through on a normal cycle, represented by the circle on the left. It usually starts with a desire James 4:1-11 but it meets resistors, things that come against the desire. They might be physical or financial limitations or it could simply be your spouse, who in your opinion, is not cooperating. James 4:6

This leads to conflict with usually predictable results. When we work from our desires and our flesh we often do and say things that we regret later. Proverbs 13:10

When we realize that we’ve stepped outside of God’s boundaries we feel guilty. Leviticus 5:17

This causes us to blame others in order to feel better about ourselves but this is a fallacy. It really doesn’t make us feel better at all. Proverbs 14:3

At this point we have a decision: we can continue on the normal cycle of judgment Genesis 3:10 or be courageous and take the noble path.

If we follow the normal cycle, we feel ashamed for our actions, our guilt, and our blaming. Proverbs 11:2

We enter into condemnation where we beat ourselves up for our behavior. Proverbs 29:23

We get apathetic: “Things will never change.”, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve better”, “Why bother?” and sit helplessly focused on our own discomfort and shortcomings.

This leads to regret, where we mull over our actions and choices and what we could have done differently.

We then fear that things won’t change, that we’ll be trapped, and that there is no way out.

This then leads to a desire to change things again, starting the cycle over.

That is the Normal Cycle.